早上7:00看蔡元培先生就职北大的演讲：一，抱定宗旨；二，砥砺德行；三，敬爱师友。

看得我内心……被击中了，他讲了求学若是为了升官发财……

想起近期，家中、友人们的小孩接近考学，和已经考学完待上……

想起，很多家长和孩子，都不知道为何要上大学？何为大学？

大学：大学问。研究高深学问的地方叫大学，研究高深学问的学者，叫大学生。

​I watched Mr. Cai Yuanpei's inauguration speech at Peking University at 7:00 in the morning: 1. Hold on to the purpose; 2. Cultivate moral character; 3. Respect teachers and friends. It struck me deeply when he talked about studying for the sake of promotion and wealth is antithetical... I think of the recent exams that the kids of my family and friends have been preparing for... or someone already ready to go college.... I think of how many parents and children don't know why they should go to university or what university really means. University: A place of profound knowledge. Scholars who study profound knowledge are called university students.

洗澡的时候我自己就在那笑。我是怎么能走着那么爷们儿的将军步，唱得那么女性化的昆曲呢？答案应该是：我已经忘记了大武生该有的样子，也忘记了闺门旦应有的（身段）形体。这么说吧，这两类行当的程式化表演，并没有绑架我你想要哪一种形式，如，把表演、形式、门类搞懂，它是需要很多专业基本功和年份的。但有没有想过，其实忘记它们也是需要时间和手段的......

When I was taking a bath, I was laughing to myself.  How could I walk with such a masculine military march and sing such a feminine Kunqu opera?  Well, I have already forgotten the appearance of a male martial artist and the graceful posture of a female role.  Let me explain, the standardized performances of these two roles did not restrict me. 

​

其实，我们去到一个地方，始终是过客，来就来了，走就走了。这不是我们全部的生活，却是生活的一部分。将美景放入心中，画进作品里，无论是碎片化拼凑起来，又或者是抽离去观赏，终究形成的是一个故事。人是相信故事的生物。而艺术家最沉迷的是追求自由灵魂......

Actually, wherever we go, we are just passers-by. We come and we go. This is not our entire life, but it is a part of life.

We put the beautiful scenery into our hearts and draw it into our works. Whether it is pieced together fragmentarily or observed from a distance, it eventually forms a story. Humans are creatures who believe in stories. And artists are most obsessed with pursuing a free spirit. 

​

我和孟媛在拈花湾小住，作剧本讨论，那已经是三年前了。

近年来，百日草花儿在我的画中频频出现。是呀，总是有花开，插入小瓶中，桌上生机勃勃的。

花儿为伴，不会落入孤单。

也可随意画几笔。

Mengyuan and I stayed in Nianhua Bay and discussed the script, that was three years ago.

In recent years, the Zinnia has frequently appeared in my paintings.  Yes, there are always flowers blooming, adding vitality to the small vase on the table.

With the company of these flowers, I never feel lonely.

I can also casually draw a few strokes of them.

Love，太强烈了，就跟宿醉一样了。

包老师跟我说：艺术本质上是女性化的……

我想：男画家还有女模特儿要画，经常那些模特是他们的爱人或者情人。

原来，我自己是我自己的情人……

Love, it's too intense, just like a hangover.

Professor Bao Lin told me: Art is essentially feminine...

I think: Male painters still have female models to paint, and often those models are their lovers or mistresses.

It turns out, I am my own lover...

情绪是杀手。 杀自己，也杀他人。

哎，想想都后怕，脑子里跳出N个情绪失控的场面和人物……

“若这么下去，未来的日子，精神折磨即地狱！” ……

Circles and Blocks, my casual lifeEmotions are killers.  Eating is the ultimate killer of these killers.   (November 13, 2017, Paris)

Emotions are killers.  

They kill oneself, and they kill others.

Oh, just thinking about it gives me chills.  

Numerous scenes and characters of emotional breakdown flash through my mind... ​

​

我们需要坐船去滨海拉塞纳（La Seyne-Sur-Mer）小镇，那里有一片温暖的勒萨布雷（Les Sablettes）海滩。法国南部，除了2007年我去过尼斯戛纳电影节之外，这是第二次。南法的天极蓝，普罗旺斯蔚蓝海岸，透着地中海气候的暖，而我感觉有点发凉。

When we arrive in Toulon, we need to take a boat to the coastal town of La Seyne-Sur-Mer, where there is a warm beach called Les Sablettes.This is my second time in the south of France, apart from attending the Cannes Film Festival in 2007. The sky in the south of France is extremely blue. Not sad blue but Happy Provence Blue. The Provence coastline is a beautiful shade of blue, with a warm Mediterranean climate. However, I feel a bit chilly.

粉红沙滩画作至今为止，大约有17幅（布面绘画），纸本若干。 要是以后有一个“粉红沙滩”房间，集艺术作品、装置为一体，应该很爽。 我在脑海里规划了一下，回头要记在《莫莉花园》本本上。 粉红沙滩4，大体上是下意识绘画，色彩也是。 我称之（色彩分布）是生理机能。

Up to now, there are approximately 17 canvas paintings and several paper works for "Pink Beach".  It would be great if there could be a "Pink Beach" room in the future, integrating art works and installations.  I have planned it in my mind iImmediately, and will remember it in my notebook "Moli's Garden".  "Pink Beach 4" was painted subconsciously, including the color distribution, which I call my "Physiological Function".

佛爷夏河部落的草场，夏河桑科达久滩草原，“达久滩”藏语意为赛马滩，是桑科最美丽的一片草原。 每年的农历7月13日，在桑科草原的达久滩将有一条通往“香巴拉”的天路，桑科的七大部落年年在此日举行赛马活动，所有参加7月13日赛马活动的骑手们，均能在来世进入“香巴拉”的净土。

The part of Sangke grassland is belongs to the Xiahe County, called 'Daju Tan' grassland.   "Daju Tan" in Tibetan means horse racing meadow.  And it is the most beautiful part of the Great Sangke Prairie.  Every year on the 13th day of the seventh lunar month, there will be a heavenly road leading to "Shangri-La" on the Daju Tan of Sangke Prairie.   The seven major tribes of Sangke hold horse racing events on this day every year.   All riders who participate in the July 13 horse racing event can enter the pure land of "Shangri-La" in the next life.

虽然孤独，日子过得安静又美好。鸟语花香，青草涩涩，微风阵阵。杏花谢时，像花雨一样飘落我身上。

我觉得自己很富有，无有风尘，只有花香。

也正是那样的时光，我在整个疫情期，将生活过成了闭关黄金期。

Although I was alone, my life was peaceful and beautiful, with the fragrance of flowers and the sound of birds. When the apricot blossoms fell, it was like a shower of white flowers falling on me.

I felt I am  pretty rich, free from the dust, and surrounded only by the fragrance of flowers. It was during this time that I turned my life into a "Golden Creation Period" of seclusion throughout the pandemic.

当然能这么坚持，我早就定了《莫莉的世界》是写什么主题的。关于爱。It’s all about LOVE。友情、爱情、亲情、艺术。只要我不是“四大皆空“，这些就如影随形。莫莉是常州话马莉的读音。简单的来说，莫莉的世界就是我的心。这辈子，要用心活，要用自己的心（不是别人的心）；要完善、懂自己的灵魂；要发现自己，而不是演自己（一个假定完美的人设）。

Of course, in order to persist like this, I had long decided on the theme of "Moli's Heart". It's all about LOVE.

Love-- Friendship. Love-- romantic love. Love-- familial love. Love-- Art love. As long as I am not  "All is empty", those will always be with me, like my own shadows.

Moli is the pronunciation of Ma Li in Changzhou dialect. Simply put, Moli's heart is Ma Li's heart.

​

​

3年前，太湖边，我要选择“心的宁静”。选择和做（执行心的宁静）的后三年，无论是湖水还是我，“波”下生命的跃动，还是经风霜（四季），都会有意无意地显现出来。

交流中……

行事中……

作品中……

Three years ago, at Taihu Lake, I chose "The tranquility of the heart".    In the three years since then, whether it is the vitality under the "waves" of the lake water, or the changes in the four seasons in landscape or in my heart, my spirit, it will be revealed intentionally or unintentionally.

During communication...

During actions...

During in my art works...

19号那日，我在三楼画了第一幅甘孜风景，想着夏日若是疫情结束，也许可以去看看那座宝石山和一汪蓝水。

（一切都是未知……）

On the February 19th, I painted the first Garzê landscape on the third floor, thinking that if the pandemic ended in summer, maybe I could go and see the jewel mountain and the pool of blue water.

(All is unknown...  As I said)

例子1：我们站在200层高楼，虽说看不到全世界，也无法窥探宇宙，但是能看一看远山，远处的云，低云、高空云，更大的天空。站在200楼的人怎么跟2楼的解释这风景呢？！假若2楼的人不上200楼看一看，哪怕就是去20楼，大概也能推算出200楼能看到的东西。

Example 1: We stand on the 200th floor of a tall building. Even though we can't see the whole world or explore the universe, we can still see the distant mountains, clouds in the distance, low clouds, high-altitude clouds, and a bigger sky. How can someone on the 200th floor explain this scenery to others? Even if the person on the 2nd floor doesn't go up to the 200th floor, they can probably figure out what can be seen from there by going up to the 20th floor.

如果说世界上有三种个人财富，我是这么分类的：精神世界和想象力，学识；爱与被爱的能力，含亲情友情爱情；资产物质；

There is no need to hurt others with arguments. To find beauty is to oppose ugliness. Those struggles are ineffective, leaving only ferocious faces and empty hearts.

I categorize personal wealth into the following three:

Spirit and imagination, knowledge and comprehension;

The ability to love and to be loved, including family, friends, and partners;

Physical Assets. 

I'll take the lazy route and directly quote the original text. I won't translate it as my explanation might not be good enough, I just tried to understand it from a psychological and practical perspective. Of course, this is difficult to translate, so I won't do it.

When I see "大知閑閑，小知閒閒；大言炎炎，小言詹詹" (roughly translated as "Great knowledge is calm, while little knowledge is restless; great words are fiery, while little words are chattering"), I think, "Yes yes yes yes!!!"

When I see "其寐也魂交，其觉也形开" (roughly translated as "During sleep, the soul interacts; upon waking, the form opens"), it makes me think of people who have been recently ill. And also when I can't sleep well, I wonder what I'm thinking about. As I can't live amidst noise and worries, so I think that people who are sick should rest quiet, otherwise the noise and worries won't allow the body to relax.

我最近回味了一下爱情。能记得的，有意思的，是那些克制和期望的情感，是那些没有说出来的话。错位的思和念。我们的情感习惯还是含蓄的。那些叭叭叭叭甜言蜜语的，热热闹闹开场，结束得如此仓促，连个定定心心的谢幕也无。肉麻语言显得那样廉价，无法品味。一段情，有血有肉，有灵魂的交织，像一幅画，可以细细回味。......

Recently, I have been reminiscing about loves. What I remember, the interesting things, is restrained emotions, the unsaid words. Misaligned thoughts and desires. All those cheesy sweet words, the lively and exciting beginnings, ending hastily without a proper farewell. It's corny and cheap, unable to be appreciated. A relationship should have flesh and blood, an intertwining of souls, like a painting that can be savored.

​

Creation makes me feel alive.

创作，让生命如此跃动。

借爱因斯坦的话：

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.

我们所经历的最美妙的事物是艰深奥秘的。它是一切真正的艺术和科学的源泉。对于那些对这种情感陌生的人来说，他们不再停下来思考、惊叹和敬畏，就如同行尸走肉；他们的眼睛是闭着的。

What I believe.(1930)

— Albert Einstein, Physicist

愉悦：是在一段关系里的快感。

若按这标题，那相关画作可多了。更多是我作为第三人眼光看待我在爱情中的状态变化。还有的是玲霞妹妹，她做模特，写生了几幅。

Pleasant: it comes from the enjoyment of a relationship.

If we go by this title, there are indeed many related artworks. Mostly, I see myself as a third person observing the changes in my state of being in love. There is also Lingxia, my sister, who posed as a model and I painted a few portraits of her. At that time, we were talking and drinking, but it wasn't enough, so I painted as well.

疫情初期，我当时对此也无概念，就觉得危险。陶慧正在俄罗斯拍摄，那边疫情比我们这里严重。这些照片我是很熟悉的，就是这几张绘画的参考照。我一直以为她在拍一个跟舞蹈相关的片子，她本来舞蹈基本功就好……

In the early stages of the epidemic, I had no concept of it at the time, I just felt that it was dangerous.

Tao Hui is currently shooting in Russia, where the epidemic is more severe than here. I am very familiar with these photos, they are reference photos for these paintings.

I always thought she was shooting a film related to dance, as she has a good foundation in dance.

She had been practicing by pressing the back of her foot before shooting.

养身，必先养心；养心，必先明理；明理，必不少读书。

读了要做、要辩证，要解惑。

最终：有用？无用？无所用，无所不用。

To cultivate one's body, one must first cultivate one's mind; To cultivate one's mind, one must first understand principles; To understand principles, one must read extensively. After reading, one must take action, engage in dialectics, and seek clarification. In the end: Useful? Useless? Useless, yet, useful in everything. (This was the thought on Wednesday)

​

昨日将远山改成了各样蓝色的块状山（素山），正好进行风格隔断。今日又想用毛笔多油，画流畅型的芦苇和水葫芦。水葫芦，开紫花的。十月开，北方九月就开了。我是十月底在太湖见着的，中下午时。浪打着，层层叠叠的。

Yesterday, I changed the distant mountains into various blue block mountains (Simple mountains) to create a stylistic division. Today, I plan to use a brush with more ink to paint smooth reeds and Water-hyacinths.

The Water-hyacinths have purple flowers and bloom in October, but in the north, they bloom in September. I saw them in late October on Taihu Lake in the afternoon when the waves were rolling and stacking.

我还有一种不知道对不对的理论（我用过且适用）：我们无论是舞蹈对身体协调的控制（这控制在体操、杂技里更为显著）、还是武术的力量控制、还是戏曲身段形体（结合武术舞蹈）的控制……为什么戏曲更有意思呢？！因为戏曲还需要在这基础上加唱唸......

I also have a theory that may or may not be correct (My experiences, which was applicable) :

Whether it is the body coordination control in dance (which is more prominent in gymnastics and acrobatics), or the power control in martial arts, or the body form control in Chinese opera (combined with martial arts and dance)...

Why is Chinese opera more prominent?! Because Chinese opera also needs to singing and speaking on same of that. And so on.

孤独，当然孤独。

这也是我学会真正享受孤独的日子。过成花样的孤独：新鲜空气、花草树木、阳光，院子里的天空，就像是私人的天空。

Loneliness, of course I am lonely.

These were the days when I learned to truly enjoy solitude.  I turned it into a variety of solitude: fresh air, flowers, trees, sunshine, the sky in the yard, like my own private sky.

我总是幻想，如果我在外星球……哪里会是怎样的？！虽不切实际，但这种幻想让我觉得生活很有意思。鱼也未必生活在海里，也许在天上。

I always fantasize about what it would be like on an alien planet. Although it's unrealistic, this kind of fantasy makes life interesting for me.Fish may not necessarily live in the sea, maybe in the sky. Clouds can change into various shapes, I knew that since I was a child. I often looked up at the sky and drew pictures of the world of immortals in it.

我喜欢拈花湾。 除了是家乡，还有山水。 跟禅意无关。 心中有禅，去哪里都可以禅。

《江南景》，江南在我心里，除了是家乡外，也不光光指长江以南，江苏南部了。  是一种心灵归宿的符号，思乡的符号。

I love Nianhua Bay. Besides being my hometown, it also has beautiful scenery. It has nothing to do with Zen. With Zen in my heart, I can find my peace anywhere. This place suddenly made me feel calm. It left a deep impression on me, but later commercialization took over.

"The Jiangnan scenery  part " - -Jiangnan is in my heart, not just referring to the area south of the Yangtze River or southern Jiangsu, but a symbol of spiritual belonging and homesickness. I have been away from home for too long.

有一句话，对我的影响比较大。

这句话，是一个科学家跟我讲的：

知识是有限的，理解是无限的。

这句话后来成为了我的学习方式。

There's a quote that has had a big impact on me.  

It was said to me by a Jewish scientist we met at Thailand:

"Knowledge is limited, understanding is infinite."

This quote has become my way of learning.

今冬后的月季花，五月才陆陆续续开，开晚了，估计太冷的缘由。她美得够强硬，生命力那么艳丽。经过一冬天的严酷，缓缓地开着，开得那么当仁不让的样子。喜欢。喜欢这样倔强的样子。

The rose flowers after this winter will only bloom sporadically in May, probably due to the cold weather.They are so beautiful and strong, with such vibrant vitality. After a harsh winter, they slowly bloom with an irresistible charm. I like it. I like this stubbornness.

昨儿傍晚时，准备在小区内跑步，我去老爸锻炼的地方，远远地就看见狗子蹦蹦跳跳朝我跑来。他知道我们要去飞奔了。起跑，躲过了几个孩子，我加速，不二穿行在我腿中间，绊倒我，我飞了出去。膝盖和手掌着地，裤子破好几个洞，膝盖磨伤，手掌还好。我在地上疼了5分钟没动，龇牙咧嘴无声地呐喊。起来走回家门口，撩起裤脚来跟老爹告状，他躲在老爹身后。

​Yesterday evening, I was getting ready to go for a run in the neighborhood. I went to the place where my dad exercises and from afar, I saw the Bu Er bouncing towards me. He knew we were going to sprint. We started running, dodging a few kids. I picked up speed and Bu Er ran between my legs, tripping me and sending me flying. I landed on my knees and hands, with several holes in my pants and scraped knees. Thankfully, my palms were okay. I stayed on the ground in pain for 5 minutes, grimacing silently. I got up and walked back to the doorstep of my house. I rolled up my pants to show my dad, and Bu Er hid behind him.

看东晋顾恺之的《洛神赋图》，想起小时候的小人书。这不是早期绘本吗？这不是蒙太奇手法吗？

《女史箴图》——‘女德’说明书。

艺术——在前人、前文明的基础大树上，发展枝蔓。形式早就有了，换个名字和包装。

Looking at Gu Kaizhi's "The Admonitions of the Instructress to the Court Ladies," it reminds me of the picture books I read as a child. Isn't this an early form of illustrated books? Isn't this a form of montage? "The Admonitions of the Instructress to the Court Ladies" can be seen as a guidebook on "virtuous behavior" for women. Art is like a branch that grows on the foundation of previous generations and civilizations. The form has existed for a long time, just with different names and packaging.